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Life Story of Chandra Lila Sadhuni
Chandra Lila was born in Nepal in a family of the Hindu priest in the house of the king. It was a prestigious position in the sight of all the people. When she was seven years old she got married but 2 years later they got the news that girl's husband died. Oh, she became a widow at the age of nine and so an unfortunate woman in society. Remember in the old days, if Indian women became widows, they had no chance to get married again, but now values are changing. Well, she lived in her parent's house till the age of 13 and gained knowledge from her father. She learned her own language and also Sanskrit.
When she was thirteen she went to Jagannath temple (a Hindu Shrine). It was a very long and painful journey. There her father died, as many thousand pilgrims die on the way. He died suddenly and before he died, he called her daughter and said, "I am separating from you for eternity. Take this bunch of keys and when you reach home open all the boxes. whatever money, gold, precious stones and every thing you find there is yours. It is yours because your husband left all these things for you." Saying all these things, he died and people took him into cemetery and according to Hindu custom they cremated him. Now the girl was alone and an orphan. After some days she came to her home with the other pilgrims and spent her time in reading Hindu scriptures. She read all about pilgrimages and Holy places. She also read about how a person can get remission of sins, that if a person goes to the four main pilgrimages of Hindus, they could get rid of their sins. At that time Chandra Lila was searching for answers why she become a widow. She wanted to know the cause for becoming a widow and she wanted to get rid of that sin which made her a widow. So she decided to go on pilgrimages and to get rid of her sins.
She took all her jewelry and money and tied to her waist and she asked her two servant girls whether they are interested in coming with her. Both agreed to go with her. Finally she left her house to seek the true God. She walked miles and miles and all the time she used to jup mala (moving the wooden bead chain by one hand and devout repetition of the name of god, or a scripture). She also used to repeat the Hindu scriptures whatever she had in her memory. Whenever she reached a holy river or lake, she would take a dip in that and worshipped in temples. She also used to take vows of gods and goddesses and gave money to brahmins as offering. As a pilgrim she reached Calcutta where she worshipped in the temple of Kali. She came across many hardships on the way and many a time she got upset but still she did not break her journey. Then she reached Jagannath temple in Orrisa where she came the previous year with her father. She stayed there for 15 days and worshipped Jagannath (a Hindu god). She gave a cow as offering to brahmin and two times she offered Rs. 25 to idols. When she finished all the rituals, then she started her journey to the next temple that was far away.
She reached Ramnath temple. This temple is very famous among the four temples of India. Ramnath temple is in south India, near Lanka and made in an island. Since coming out from her home as a pilgrim it was not months, but years passed by. She purchased an idol of Ramnath so that she may keep that with her in her journey, so that she may be protected from all the sorrows and troubles and she used to worship this idol as a main god.
Then again she started her journey and reached the western side of India where she went to worship in Dwarikanath. People believe that this temple was made by Krishna himself and if a person comes as pilgrim at this place, he/she should get the remission of sins. So Chandra Lila applied sandal wood on her body and stayed fifteen days and worshipped and gave offerings and money to brahmins.
After completing her three pilgrimages she started her journey for the fourth and the last pilgrimage at Badrinath which is situated in north India. She was totally tired and troubled in her heart but with much hope she started walking with her two servants. After some days her bare foot became numb because of snow and cold weather and because of snow and stones her feet started bleeding. She took her old clothes and wrapped her leg with those clothes and started her journey again. The more she went ahead the more she shivered in biting cold, but she did not stop there. It was a very narrow road and after much difficulty she reached the temple. She stayed there for 5 days and she believed that because she suffered a lot on her way, god will bless her more than others. But when she was returning her heart was filled with sorrow and sadness, because after seven years of long journey she could not find peace and joy and also she could not get the remission of her sins.
Finally she decided to go to Kedarnath and Haridwar and take a dip in Ganges because people believe that if a person take bath in Ganges he or she can be holy. She journeyed a lot and wherever she found a temple she worshipped and gave offerings to brahmin but she could not see or find any peace but the more she did all the rituals she felt more comfortless and restless. Meanwhile her two friends got sick and she tried to save them but could not. She felt more comfortless and became sad.
She reached the age of twenty-eight but peace was far-far away from her.
She said in her heart "I will torture my body for three years and would do whatever is written in Hindu scriptures. I would do whatever may be pleasing to God." So she applied bhabut (ashes) on her whole body and on her face, put sandal wood paste on her forehead, applied cow dung on her beautiful, long hairs and twisted it around her head. She wore a wooden chain on her neck and vowed saying, "In summer I will sit in sunlight upon the skin of deer between the panchagni (she kindled fire in 4 pots and placed surrounding her). Because of intense heat her sweat was flowing like streams. Then she continued to stand on one leg with folded hands before idols from night 12 0’clock till morning. She always used to pray in her heart that, "Ram, if you are a true God you should appear before me." Because she allowed her body to be tortured, people started worshipping her. In winter, she used to sit with in ice cold river water for the whole night and used to chant the names of hindu god with her wooden chain. She said, "It is horrible to think about the long nights. In my chain there were 108 beads, with one turned my chain taking the name of god with every bead I moved and with the other hand I used to keep count of how many times the chain was moved around. During the entire night I moved the chain 100 times so that I could take the name of god 10800 times. The whole night was spent thinking when morning will come.
In the morning she used to come out from the water slowly because her body would have become numb and she used to roll over the land to reach before the idols. She spent the whole day time worshiping the god called Ram. But she had no peace at all. All these three years she not only tortured her body but did not take any grain or salt in her food but ate only fruits.
She always prayed before idols, "If you are true god, please appear before me, do something that I may know that you are there, talk something that I may know that I made you happy, spread your hands and take my offerings from my hands… Please show me a sign…But she could not find any answer or get any sign that could give her peace and joy.
Once she read about the eye of Parvati (wife of Shiva) which is said to have fallen in a pond and is shining continuously like a burning lamp. She got amazed and thought, "I will go and see with my own eyes this amazing thing and to see that she went on a long journey. When she reached the bank of the pond the pond keeper showed her a bright light at the center of the pond. She went around the pond and got amazed and thought, "is it possible?" Finally she decided to find out what this thing is? Evening came and darkness was all over there then she saw a Hindu priest going towards the light by a boat and putting oil on that burning light. When she saw all these things she felt so miserable her whole faith in her religion left her. But because scriptures says, whoever believes they get their heart’s desire, she did not stop her rituals or prayers.
Then she wanted to go to Calcutta and a very rich man gave her money for purchasing ticket for the journey by ship. Because of her dirty cloths, mud filled body and face, and because she was carrying woods and earthen vessels the captain of the ship refused to take her in the ship. Then again the captain said, "If you can pay more than what others are paying then I will allow you to come into the ship. She agreed and got in the ship. On the way a big storm came, and they thought that they are going to sink. And all the Hindus started crying to Ram( hindu god) and said, "please save us". Chandra Lila was one of them. When the captain heard the noise, he came to that side and said, "be quite, you are crying out in vain". He raised his finger towards heaven and said, "God is our savior, only He can save us from this storm." Chandra Lila never heard this type of things and she never knew that there is a God who is greater than other gods whom she used to worship and worthy to be worshiped. After some time the storm ceased and it made her think about God.
When three years of her vow ended she took bath in Ganges and did shave her long smeared with cowdung hairs which was not washed and combed for 3 long years and said, "I did whatever a sinner need to do and bore as many sorrows and tortures a man could bear. I bore every thing on my body but after doing all these things I could not get any peace or remission of sins", By saying this, she offered her hairs to the river Ganges."
She came to Midnapur from Calcutta. A woman came to meet her and said, "I have no son and because of that my husband is going to marry another woman. Please tell me what type of prayer I could do that I may get a boy child?" Chandra Lila said, "I do not know about any prayers but I know a medicine, it is a root of a small tree. If you eat this you will get a boy child." The woman got very happy and started eating that medicinal root. After some months the woman had a boy child in her family and she gave that little kid to Chandra Lila so that she may teach him.
After some time a rich man saw her sitting on the road side singing praises to gods or giving messages to people. So he called her in his house and the whole family were pleased with her. So they gave her a room to live and to put her idols. They said, "teach us from the scriptures." Here she taught from hindu scriptures to many women though her faith was lifted from these idols. But because of these women she used to do all the rituals. She became very famous among the rich families and used to spend her time in teaching the hindu scriptures. But finally she got very tired with all these things and decided to give all her idols to a poor hindu. And she did so and told her, "if you want to pray to these idols do so. I did many years with sorrow and torturing my body, but in my knowledge, I did all these things in vain. I am not going to serve these things any more. Hindu religion is nothing. If it is something then it would have been manifested on me and I could have got peace". Saying this she went from there.
Chandra Lila used to visit that kid’s house. That time Parvati the kid’s sister got married and she would come and go to her in laws house. Her in law’s house was near the mission compound and Pastor Philip’s wife used to teach that young bride. One day Chandra Lila went to her house and found her reading books of Christian religion and she came to know that the Pastor’s wife gave her the books to read. Chandra Lila talked to the Pastor’s wife and got a New Testament in Bengali language from her. She read it day and night but she could not find any peace till that time. She used to go to Pastor’s wife to know the meaning of the Bible verses. Chandra Lila got all the answers to all her questions from her. After some days she started loving those books and she not only read those books but started teaching her disciples also. When people came to listen to her from Ramayana or from Hindu scriptures she used to say, "I will teach you from a new book." When they asked why she did not you read from the old books? She said, "this new book is very nice." The ladies listened happily but men said, "what are you doing…this is book of Christian religion." They said, "we will bring a Pandit (hindu priest) for you and he will teach you hindu scriptures." She said, "I do not want any Pandit, but I will learn from Madam." They threatened and frightened her but she did not get afraid of those things, but she taught them about Christ and said it is better for them also to accept Jesus. After two months she went to the Pastor and said, "I want to accept Christianity." Pastor asked, "are you a sinner or a holy person?" Chandra Lila said, "My parents were born in sin, I did worship all the idols of India, I lied many times and deceived many times… how can I say that I am a holy person and without any sin?" Then pastor said, "You said that you have worshipped every god and goddess, did you get any hope of remission of sins?" Chandra Lila said, "I went on pilgrimages after pilgrimages but I never heard at any place how a person get rid of their sins or get remission of sins and not only that I did not get any peace in my life or assurance of forgiveness of sins.
Pastor again asked, "what was the reason that your gods could not forgive your sins? If they could not forgive your sins how do you expect to get remission of your sins?" Chandra Lila said, "I have read about a savior and He is Jesus Christ and I have learned that he forgives all our sins. That’s why I believe on Him and want to be a Christian. After eight days she went to the church and she said, "When I heard the message I felt that today I received the same thing for which I was in search for so many years and for which I suffered for such a long time." Chandra Lila got a great joy and peace in her heart. She said to the Pastor, "I am ready to take baptism. Pastor said, "If you take the baptism you will have to go through much problems. Your hindu brothers will leave you and when you will not get any food what will you do?" She said, "God feeds to animals, would He not give me? God is my shepherd, I will not want anything." After returning from church she could not sleep. Her heart was flowing with joy. For the whole night she thought how to come out from all these worldly things and give all her life to Jesus.
When people heard that Chandra Lila accepted Christ and dedicated her life to Jesus then all her disciple came to her and requested her to go back to their faith but she refused to go back. All the Hindus got upset and they said that she has now become an untouchable and saying these things they went from there.
Chandra Lila went to the king’s house where she had stayed for seven years and told about Jesus that He came in to this world and died for us so that we may be without sin. He believed in Jesus but could not take baptism because he was afraid of the people and he was also afraid that he may lose his kingship.
Chandra Lila went to every street and every corner to give the message that Jesus died for our sins and there is forgiveness of sins in Him. She went to every house and every village of Madinapur. It took six months for her to cover the whole area. She prayed for this every day. Many believed in Jesus listening to her messages and many were tortured because of their belief in Jesus. Her nephew came to meet her and she gave the gospel messages to him and he also believed in Jesus.
She decided to go back to the places where she went before as a pilgrim and to preach the saving grace of Christ. She returned to her own country Nepal after 27 years and she preached everywhere there. Many people wanted to kill her or to torture her but no one could harm her. There her brother accepted Christ on His death bed and when he died, all his Hindu friends came and they wanted to cremate him according to hindu custom but Chandra Lila said, "he became a Christian before he died so he should be buried according to Christian custom." But they did not listen. Finally they took him to the cremation ground. Chandra Lila prayed very hard for her brother that he should not be cremated. That was a rainy season. They took the dead body, put on wood and tried to put fire on it but fire got quenched because of the heavy down pour. They tried several times until night but could not succeed. Chandra Lila who was praying very hard said, " please give me the dead body of my brother, it is not God’s will that he be cremated. In fact God has listened to my cry and He only protect my brothers body from cremation. Finally they gave her to dead body and she buried him according to Christian custom.
Chandra Lila went everywhere even to the houses of kings and told about Jesus. Big crowds gathered to listen to her messages and people were astonished to see her boldness and authority. She quoted from hindu scriptures and said there is no salvation in Hindu religion. At the age of 65 she went to be with the Lord after serving Jesus for 30 years. On 26th Nov. 1907 before she closed her eyes, she said, "I have no fear, every thing is bright before me. Four angels have come to take me home." And she closed her eyes peacefully.
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